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But Where Did It All Start, Jim?
The oldest known references to beer come to us from the inventors of writing, farming, social order, mathematics, trade and commerce and more. I'm talking about the Sumerians from the Fertile Crescent in today's Iraq. The tablet pictured above is a recipe for the "best" beer, originating in c. 2050BC, but there are numerous other references to the beautiful golden beverage dated even before that. Some scholars believe there have been references to it as far as 6000 years ago in the Sumer region.
Something To Chew On: The "Hymn to Ninkasi" was an ancient prayer to the Sumerian goddess, Ninkasi, which contains a beer recipe. This was a really great way to remember the recipe in a time and place where very few people were literate.
Around the same time (possibly even a little earlier) the Ancient Chinese were also brewing a similar beverage known as kui, and even the Ancient Egyptians were brewing beer at 5000BC, around the time the Great Pyramids were being constructed.
This Shit Saved Lives! A Nobel Peace Prize for Beer?
The medicinal properties of beer have been known for almost as long as it has been brewed. In around 1600BC a tablet was created listing prescription for over 700 ailments. For around 100 of these the suggested medication was beer... (this possibly included ailments like "bored" or "socially awkward" too.)
In the medieval ages beer was also a massive life-saver. As proper sanitation had not been invented yet, waterways were flooded with fecal matter, body parts and left-over KFC pieces, so it wasn't entirely safe to drink the water. Thus, beer was a much safer option to drink, not causing such serious side-effects other than crying to your mates about how your girlfriend doesn't understand you and that if it wasn't for the obvious faults in the idea you'd probably become gay. This was mostly thanks to the fact that they boiled the water during the brewing process, inadvertently giving birth to sterilisation without even knowing it!
In recent times a lot of scholars have dedicated lots of time to researching the health benefits of moderate beer consumption (let's just say moderate means more than one and less than a case... that way we can be politically correct without being full of shit). Says Dr. R Curtis Ellison from Boston University School of Medicine: "Alcohol, including beer, in moderation raises high-density lipoprotein or HDL, known as good cholesterol". This means it can reduce your chances for strokes and heart-attacks.
Something To Chew On: Studies have also shown that, thanks to the social benefits of drinking (not just beer, but booze in general) can help you live longer than non-drinkers. [source]
Do remember to be careful with high consumption though, especially if you're a chick. Some other studies have shown that consuming more than two glasses of alcohol a day could increase the risk of breast cancer in some women.
Could You Bring Me A Pale Ale Please?
There are a large number of beer varieties. In general they can be broken into Ales and Lagers, as defined by the brewing process, but there is a big variety of sub-classifications.
Ale: A type of beer brewed from malted barley using the "warm fermentation" process with a strain of brewer's yeast. Usually it ferments quickly, giving it a fruity, sweet, full bodied taste.
Lager: A lighter beer type, also brewed from malted barley usually, in a "cold fermentation" process.
See the different types of beers in the chart below:
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- When the Pilgrims landed in North America, they were greeted by a Native American, named Samoset, that asked them in English: "Have any beer?". They also landed at Pilgrim's Rock, instead of Virginia, because they ran out of beer on their ships.
- The largest brewing company in the world by revenue is Anheuser-Busch InBev, with SABMiller coming in a very close second place.
- Vikings believed that a giant goat whose udders gave an endless supply of beer waited for them in Valhalla.
- In most parts of Germany beer is not taxed as it is still seen as a staple food.
- The oldest brewery in the world is the Weihenstephan Brewery, dating back to around 1050.
- Cenosillicaphobia is the fear of an empty glass.
- Ancient Egyptians were paid approximately a liter of beer a day when they were building the pyramids.
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What Do They Have To Say About Beer?
"Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer" - Al Bundy, Married With Children
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" - Benjamin Franklin
"All right brain, I don't like you and you don't like me, so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer." - Homer Simpson
"Beer makes you feel like you ought to feel without beer" - Henry Lawson
"Give me a women that loves beer and I will conquer the world" - Kaizer Wilhelm
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." - Dave Barry
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